Sweet Pilgrimage of Life

I closed my eyes, and a vast Irish landscape unfolded before me. My heart leapt, and emotions welled up within. This scene speaks to my soul.

I became aware of an ancient worn road underfoot, 'pilgrimage'—yes, this was the scene of pilgrimage.

Then the elation started to deplete, as I realised the many mundane steps and similar views ahead of me, yes, leading me to the steps of an ancient-old ruin, land steeped with ancient murmurs and the unseen oil of Saints' prayers from yesteryear, but still so many steps until I am to get there.

Huh, this scene feels like a depiction of life. A long journey (if you are so fortunate) of one foot in front of the others, dotted with exquisite experiences and touches with the ancient and the divine. Life in all its wonder, but again, I am drawn to the one foot in front of the other, the mundane stretches of this pilgrimage in life. It feels lonely and tedious, somewhat an endurance despite knowing that one of those steps would be the one to bring a steeping ruin for the first time, to view.

Then, a piercing thought struck my heart: Jesus is walking the mundane with me—oh my!!! That, my friend, brings it all into perspective.

Being mindful of the opportunity to walk a million steps with Jesus at my side, discussing all the matters of life, love and eternity - now that transforms the dusty road to a thrilling, life-giving journey outside of all relevance of time or destination.

I ponder this marvel a little more and consider that on such a journey with a soul friend or rabbi like Jesus, there would be moments of just being, walking together but in silent reflection, this would be, by design, to allow me time to process all any wonders and deep truths He has shared and we have discussed. Perhaps even for Jesus these silent times offer Him time to commune with His father or attend to other matters weighing on His heart. What a joy to know that those times of silence are not ones to despair but again to rejoice in, as He still walks at my side, we can even walk in step with one another as a way of helping me know how united and at one we are.

I then feel Jesus encourage me to walk before Him, and a dread wells up within.

”Oh no, Jesus, you don't want me there. I know myself enough to know that you don't want me taking the lead. I get caught up in my own intellect and will run on ahead of you, thinking I know where to take you. No, that's not how this journey should be for me”. 

I feel a subtle objection and teaching moment from my Lord. 

"Learn from the past, my little one, and walk forward with your heart leaning behind and into me; sense my hand on the centre of your back gently guiding you while you walk forward; hold our union there". 

I try this feel His comfort close behind, and realise the absolute futile void and emptiness of going one step further ahead than His arm can reach.

I then fall back in step at His side, and then one more step to be behind; this is where I should be for this part of the journey, even though in my inner being, I feel my pride shrinking and the sense of mundane start to cloud in around me... I know for this stretch of the road, this is where I should be. But what am I to do here walking in behind? It seems a little bit boring, dull and like my only purpose is to be obedient; this fails in comparison to the animated union walking at His side or even the reluctant apprehension of Him as my guide. 

I then notice His dusty feet and His leather sandals and I am overcome with wonder and worship, reverence and awe. A deep deep joy wells within. Oh, to look upon His feet all the days of my life, my gaze doesn't want to look anywhere else and again, time and space and destination willow away to nothing. His feet I could look upon for all my days, and I know as I hold this gaze, He is faithfully leading me to places of such great wonder, on such a great adventure; for they are the places that He needs us to go!

So from now let me start each new day with two prayers on my lips:
" Jesus, show me what I need today so that I can ask for that, and not for the things I think I need, and Lord, where do you need me to be today, at your side conversing and learning, before you as you gentle encourage me to step out and trust your hand at my back, or is this a day for me to be behind, wondering at the marvel of your divine dusty feet, trusting Your guide and protection over me, as we continue forward to the places you need us to go".

Sweet Pilgrimage of Life.